Flinch.

26 thoughts on “Flinch.”

  1. This post very beautifully illustrates my creative (but particularly my writing) process perfectly. I think the flinch is purely a self defence mechanism and you are correct the only way is through. Writers do not give themselves credit for being brave enough to put themselves “out there.” Great post thankyou – I’ll have to reblog this.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you very much for the thoughtful comment! It’s nice to know I’m not alone in feeling this way. 🙂 It’s that inner battle that is often the most difficult to overcome when putting ourselves “out there.” And it’s always good to know there are others who go through the same thing!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I enjoy hearing how another’s process works. I could identify with some of the things you go through, and where different I smiled, because it was a reminder of how unique we are, too.

    I had a lot of trouble finishing writing projects for years. I would start a story and then sort of run out of gas. Looking back, it’s clear now it was a touch of both depression and insecurity. I didn’t have the confidence to keep going when things got difficult. In my 30s, I went back to school, got a degree in journalism and worked for a few years at newspapers as a reporter and editor in a fast-paced, high-pressure environment where there was no time for self-doubt. The structure of deadlines got me over the hump. I came to love writing under pressure, and eventually that training taught me how to approach writing as a professional, and not as a moody artistic type. It might not work for everyone, but did for me.

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    1. I can certainly see how writing for a deadline would force you past internal obstacles. It’s funny, I too, feel I do my best work under pressure. Always have. Once panic sets in, I know I’m in for one heck of a a ride 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha. Yes. 🙂 In fact, I got so used to working with the feeling of impending doom (they took the term ‘deadline’ literally at one paper), I found it was useful when I was no longer there and just needed to motivate myself. What’s the thing people say about combat, that if you’re not scared you’re not normal? I llike working scared, I guess.

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  3. I kind of have the opposite reaction. Before I release something to world, I criticize it, I see all it’s flaws, sometimes I procrastinate finishing it, I’ll work on a different project to put off the one I’m worried about. Once it’s out in the world though, I like looking at it and seeing it there. Sometimes I regret what I made, but most of the time I don’t.

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    1. It’s fascinating how differently we all approach the same endeavors! It does seem like you and I are opposites here. I almost wish I could inject a “healthy dose” of your approach into mine, for the sake of balance.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Firstly, you write very clearly about things that are often fuzzy. As I read “Flinch”, it brought to mind a quote (paraphrasing) “one who cannot howl will not find their pack”. The creative endeavors that make us flinch are the howls into the wilderness. I appreciate the process you speak on regarding desensitization and seeing the yin and yang of flinching.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for the kind words and for linking to my post! It is always my aim to shed light on experiences that appear murky or complicated, especially to those who haven’t experienced them firsthand. I like your analogy using the howl. You’re right…and in a very guttural sense, too.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I agree with msjadeli, you really do write about feelings that are very hard to articulate – and so I am able to recognise and relate to a great deal of what you are saying. I forced myself to read the physical proof copy of my novel in my own hands, turning the pages, before releasing it into the world, not for proofreading (done to death) but to ‘own’ it as I was flinching all over the place! If I hadn’t done this I’d be doing mega level flinching knowing some people are now reading it… as it is, I’m ok about it, could I go so far as to say, I’m pleased? not quite yet, just glad the deed is done. It is a self defence mechanism, but I think its a healthy one as you’ve concluded, I’d rather err that way, than be someone who believes writing is easy and that they’re brilliant at it. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Lynne! It is great that you take the time to condition yourself to that feeling by reading your work in hard copy before others do. I sometimes rush through those final stages because I am flinching too much! And that’s no good. I do think you are correct about being overconfident–I wouldn’t want to be one of those writers who basks in their own perceived brilliance. They’re hard to respect.

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  6. I use my posts as a barometer. Then I delete everything Monday at midnight. True it does nothing for my SEO or Google. Only, I don’t really care about that stuff.

    Mainstream Art gets ridiculed for being ridiculous. The performers then visit hospitals and kiss baldheaded kids, donate to Feminism, condemn Trump. All the while even they cannot escape the creative hole.

    Truth, we as artists amass this dictionary sized creative space and in return. We get a link on Google from our, interests. All the ads, videos, and revenue pass over us. It’s the digital starving artist. So, one of the gay genius writers that are praised by confused macho hetero men said, “Kill your darlings.”

    Not that I don’t care about the creation. I created the space and in that moment I recycle it. My social media is molded clay and someday, starving artists will not starve. Pigs may also fly later that afternoon.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It really is a constant effort with little gratification and especially in this century of instant gratification by consumers, the artist is consumed. You are only “found” once and then it’s everything after that’s “genius.” So, either you play the game or remain a relic.

        I’m old. I have a real labor job. I’ll draw until I can’t without that expectation of being “found.” That, America, never liked me anyways.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. After a hard day of farm labor, my hands cannot close over my pen. My back cannot allow me to sit. So, I put them away and just close my eyes and listen. Then, I draw what I’m hearing. You are right, it’s the exhale. Like when the waves smooth the sand.

        Liked by 1 person

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