New Endings

This post is formatted to reflect an original journal entry.

3/13/19

Feeling as though I’ve reached a turning point in my thinking. As if all this talk of being, becoming, actualizing one’s inherent potential, or instinctual personality, is really just tantamount to a kind of intuitive living. That really living intuitively—“from the gut,” as Carl Rogers says—is the higher, more integrated, more holistic kind of consciousness I’ve been working toward.

My psychological experience has shown time and again that certain contents issue from a psyche more complete than consciousness. They often contain a superior analysis or insight or knowledge which consciousness has not been able to produce. We have a suitable word for such occurrences—intuition. In pronouncing it, most people have an agreeable feeling as if something had been settled. But they never take into account the fact that you do not make an intuition. On the contrary, it always comes to you. – C. G. Jung

A thought: intuitive living necessitates belief in a higher power and the belief that it is at once transcendent and immanent. Miracles are everywhere, and everything is sacred, especially you. And it is a holistic way of living, relying fully on the inner voice that knows. Living by one’s intuition as a means of interacting with the world from the gut, soul—visceral—from the deepest part of oneself. The kind of thinking that requires no answers or justifications. But, no, it’s not thinking at all. Just a swift and exacting form of knowledge. Knowing oneself is a sense beyond sense.

And what courage that requires! This must be the kind of courage Paul Tillich and the other existentialists talk about—letting the incessant questioning fall away and living according to an inner certitude that is inexplicable. That’s full of “hunches” and imaginative ways of knowing. What do I mean here: “imaginative ways of knowing”?

Some imaginative work is simply play, some fantasy, wishing of a regressive-type, as in wish fulfillment. Not necessarily grounded. Not the kind of thing you want to base a life on. Wait, but I wrote myself in Seven Road: sometimes you just gotta live by the wishes. Wishing turns into willing, and willing turns into action. But there is also a bit of alchemy here. Sometimes wishing is a form of knowing. The language of a soul expressing its desires, its yearnings in symbols. I knew I’d read it somewhere before:

The human wish…is not merely a push from the past, not merely a call from primitive needs demanding satisfaction. It also has in it some selectivity. It is a forming of the future, a molding by a symbolic process which includes both memory and fantasy, of what we hope the future will be. The wish is the beginning of orienting ourselves toward the future. – Rollo May

What I was just discussing with Writings from the Couch, his fictional vignettes so artfully illustrating the mechanics of these internal processes and, in turn, helping me gain insight into my own. Wishes, fantasies, little mouthfuls from a soul looking toward an uncertain future.

But, this is intuitive living. Reading that symbolic language. Living what you know. And not questioning it—or at least, learning to rise above the questions. I’ve always been an intuitive type, but not to this degree. Never relinquished control like this. Oh, what a silly sentiment…I am beginning to understand my own intuition differently. Not wanting to control, attach, make sense of, order. Instead, a voice, a force, a presence that quietly and powerfully is. But it seems this is the only way to feel powerful, not to, as Dr. May says, “experience contradictions in will,” which only lead to feelings of anxiety, helplessness, impotence—worse—apathy. 

Intuitive living. Living by the wishes. The bare language of the soul. That’s it: the higher self is the whole self in action. As I was reflecting on these ideas last night over a steamy bath and a glass of red wine, surrounded by a roomful of soft jazz, two sentences arrived in my mind suddenly and demanded my full attention: You don’t need to understand it. You only need to be grateful for it. I couldn’t have said it better myself.

18 thoughts on “New Endings

    1. Well, I think Jung would say that intuition is a way of perceiving the world that 1.) allows unconscious contents to become conscious in the form of a complete insight or 2.) results from the perception of external objects, as if the perceiver is sensing something “more” in them. I would have to say I like those definitions and agree with them. For me to feel intuitive is to feel whole in that I am in sync with myself–subconscious, too, I suppose, to the extent I can be. I sense I am acting in line with my deepest, truest desires, without, necessarily, much regard for the rational mind, and I feel confident in my ability to act from my gut rather than overthink.

      Liked by 4 people

      1. I understand and I can see your logic. Personally I try to follow my gut whenever possible but subconsciously I think the desires, fears and motives buried below my exterior manifestation of them are more telling of who I am. How I perceive things are different than how I truly feel about them when I lay my head down at night and dream. Still, you gotta go with your gut in the moment. You make very astute and well thought out points and I enjoy reading your perspective. I learn something in all your posts and I find your work intellectually stimulating so thank you and keep it up!! 😁

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Thank you very much, Jared! I have a lot of fun learning about these concepts and attempting to put them into practice. It is very encouraging to me to know you find value in these discussions. I, too, think it is important to “go with the gut.” To act from a sense beyond sense, so to speak, whenever we are graced with that kind of insight. Thanks again for reading! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Your post has brought so much to mind. Due to all kinds of psychological and probably neurological problems, I didn’t discover that intuition was the strongest part of my mind until I was in my late twenties. Intuition has provided me with a way of glimpsing the future, whether it be a moment tomorrow, or a book that might help me five years from now. Your phrase “intuitive living” says everything to me. Intuitive living is something I can believe in. And thank you for our ongoing discussions about all of these intuitive things.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. As I copied this post from my journal, I questioned whether I should use the term, “intuitive living,” which is how I wrote it in the original entry. Mostly because I know not everyone is an “intuitive” type and what I am describing might look different for different personalities. But, in the end I decided to leave it because I know no better term to describe my own experience. Knowing oneself–one’s real self–is a sense beyond sense. And I know what you mean about glimpsing the future. I often feel that way about people. When I meet them, talk with them, see them for the first time, I often get a very powerful sense of who will play an important role in my future. Also, it seemed wild to me when I first conceived of really living by that feeling. Just being guided by what I “know.” How gloriously wrong I might be! But, perhaps this is the most adventurous part of my experiment. It delights me that we can discuss these topics, too, especially matters of intuition. Thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I find it very interesting what you say about glimpsing the future in terms of what you feel in people when you first meet them. I started to experience something similar with people in my late twenties, but especially in my thirties. One woman, who had known me for many years, and she had known me before my intuition really became alive and active in me, said to me once: “I feel as if you’re looking right into me.” I realize now that I was 35 when that happened. And no one had ever said something like that to me before. I find that it can be hard to talk about intuition or intuitive things with others. In a way I am surprised that anyone follows my blog simply because I tend to dive right into the intuitive deep end, so to speak. And so to have these conversations with you is very meaningful to me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was struck by a thought after reading your response. I have wondered in the past if intuition isn’t just a really efficient form of perception. Or maybe a holistic form of perception. Something that allows you to gain a lot of information about a person/thing in a glance, so to speak. Of course, I think it goes beyond that, too. There is a depth dimension. Something otherwise inexplicable about what you see, as in knowing when a person is special, important, “something” to you. And it’s the degree of certainty, too, like you just know the thing deep down in your bones. In the past, I have been tentative to take that feeling too seriously, but it really is the truest barometer I have for gauging my interactions with the world. And it’s taken me awhile to realize the degree to which I must honor it. I am chuckling at your final sentences. That’s what I love most about your blog! I remember reading your posts for the first time and thinking, “This is amazing! He speaks my language!” And I sometimes wonder why people read my posts that dive into the deep end of theory and/or some esoteric-type concepts, too. Maybe they can sense we are having fun. 🙂 I don’t, in all honesty, think I’ve ever known anyone who values intuition and is interested in alternative ways of knowing like I am. These conversations are very valuable and special to me, also.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I feel the exact same way. I read somewhere that Jung said that intuitive introverts don’t fit in anywhere except on a mountaintop or in a monastery. I guess my writing has become my version of a mountaintop monastery!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. This is it. Exactly it. All we need. I’ve found myself going down this path as well and it is a bit like looking over the edge of a cliff with no fucking ground to speak of. You worded it beautifully and succinctly. A pleasure ☺

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Do you know what’s funny? Earlier this afternoon, as I was working on a poem about this very thing, I wrote the line, “like walking ass backwards off a cliff.” I appreciate knowing that you have a similar experience. It is a wild ride when you think about it, isn’t it? Thank you for commenting! 🙂

      Like

      1. That is crazy. But what else could it be? We have a culture that’s based everything on thoughts and the body is reviled! And you dare to put your trust (faith?) Into the very source we’ve been told to neglect. I’ve heard my fellow Buddhists call it groundless but it doesnt do the impending fear justice!

        I love reading your work, a tremendous talent and mind. I always look forward to reading. I don’t always feel in my depth to be able to contribute with a comment! But this is what I’ve been working on as well. Working from the Hara (tanden, chi…) and so it really struck a chord with me. Like you said appreciate sharing a similar experience!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You are absolutely right when you say, “And you dare to put your trust (faith?) Into the very source we’ve been told to neglect.” That’s it! And then you ask yourself, “Can what I am feeling so powerfully, with such peace and certainty, be true? Or have I really lost my mind this time?” I am very happy to be able to have a conversation like this with you. Please, feel free to comment whenever you like! I have not studied much in the way of Eastern religion/philosophy, but it is now on my radar. Thank you for the kind words! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. You’re always a pleasure to read. And of course thank you for your support over on my blog. It is very much appreciated. I don’t often find people that I can share in an experience or philosophy with, that isn’t dead or being read! so it’s a great relief to have this conversation as well.

        Liked by 3 people

  4. “Sometimes wishing is a form of knowing. (and) “You don’t need to understand it, you only need to be grateful for it.” Two sentences that really jumped out at me I this post. Sometimes, for me, it becomes so necessary to put away the questioning for a little while, let things happen intuitively, and then be grateful for the experiences that come…whatever they may be. Thank you for the reminders! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, I agree! It truly is a matter of letting go of incessant questioning/needing to know/control and feeling intuitively–with your whole being–that all is as it should be in the moment, and whatever experiences come, come. Thank you for the comment!

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s