Even though I don’t listen to audiobooks, I occasionally scroll through the titles that Spotify recommends. For reasons unbeknownst to me, my latest recommendations are in the self-help category and seem to center on the theme of not caring what other people think, or how to remain relatively unaffected or unbothered by other peoples’ words and actions, as well as how not to take everything personally. 

As I was scrolling through the list of titles yesterday morning, I thought, “I have something to say on this topic.” It is my experience that how affected I am by other peoples’ actions and opinions or by world events, generally, at any given time comes down to one thing: alignment. If I am aligned within myself, I am more or less indomitable. I am unbother-able. And I am not easily moved by other peoples’ feelings or opinions. If I am out of alignment, however, I start taking things personally. In fact, that is often, for me, the first sign that I need to get myself back in order.

When I talk about “alignment,” I am referring to a kind of internal or organismic harmony that occurs on two levels: 1.) what I say, what I do, and what I think are in agreement with one other and are in line with my highest good, and 2.) I am being driven by a higher sense of purpose, by my soul’s calling, as well as a sense of higher values or right action. I am as Joseph Campbell says, “following my bliss.”

To find your own way is to follow your own bliss. This involves analysis, watching yourself and seeing where the real deep bliss is—not the quick little excitement, but the real, deep, life-filling bliss. – Joseph Campbell

To follow our bliss does not mean to do whatever feels good, whatever brings instant gratification or a fleeting sense of excitement. It means to follow our soul’s calling, to be in full possession of a sense that we are doing what we were born to do, to be driven by feelings of deep satisfaction, fulfillment, and purpose. When I am following my bliss and taking deliberate action to move in the direction of my purpose, I am not concerned about what other people are doing or thinking. In fact, you could probably burn down the world around me, and I would keep going, keep seeking out that which fulfills me. When I am properly aligned, my entire perspective on life is qualitatively different.

This doesn’t mean I am impervious to feeling: it doesn’t mean I don’t get angry, hurt, or upset. I does, however, mean I can put these feelings in their place, pick myself up, and move forward anyway. That is, negative thoughts and emotions don’t incapacitate me. They don’t consume me. And they certainly aren’t enough to stop me from fulfilling my soul’s work and doing that which I was made to do. The same is true of world events—or any events outside of my control, for that matter. These things may upset me from time to time, but they aren’t enough to prevent me from functioning or from pursuing a good and rewarding life. 

To follow our bliss, or to discover our soul’s calling, is not easy. This is the objective of the hero’s journey, and it requires courage, strength, perseverance, and commitment. As someone who has many passions and interests, I know how difficult it can be to figure out which I should put first, or in what measure I should be dedicating my time and attention to each. And yet, if I take the time to really listen to myself, I know. I know exactly where to find my bliss, or rather, how to let it find me.

To be aligned with our own souls doesn’t only require healing. It also requires the ability to face adversity and, as the saying goes, to learn how to “dance in the rain,” or navigate life’s challenges, as well as a willingness to develop ourselves—the full range of our talents, interests, and potentialities, big and small. That’s what The Used Life is, and has always been, about for me. In a way, I suppose this is my own hero’s (or heroine’s) journey: to be keenly aware of how cruel, unjust, dishonest, and unscrupulous the world is and still be determined to live as good and fulfilling a life as possible in spite of, or because of, it.