Confessions of an Introvert

  1. Generally speaking, if I don’t feel like socializing, I don’t. And I have no problem declining an invitation without providing an exhaustive explanation. A simple, “Thank you for inviting me, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to make it,” is sufficient. 
  2. I don’t maintain superficial friendships. 
  3. I hate small talk, and I generally dislike environments where socializing, especially with strangers, is forced. Intimate gatherings and meaningful conversations are far more energizing and enjoyable.
  4. I cannot understand why so many people turn ordinary conversation into a competition, or game of one-upmanship. (Actually, I do have a few theories.)
  5. We are trained from an early age to confuse loudness, aggressiveness, bravado, and attention-seeking with strength. 
  6. I like people, but a great many of them talk too much.
  7. It is my observation that most people do not understand the value of solitude or silence.
  8. If you see me at a social gathering, and I am standing quietly away from the crowd, it’s probably because I am evaluating my environment and everyone in it. 
  9. I always have an exit strategy.
  10. I do not make myself accessible to everyone; nor, am I accessible at any time. 
  11. If you show up at my home unannounced, there is a chance I will hide rather than answer the door. (I almost always answer…but the chance remains.)
  12. I don’t like being the center of attention.
  13. I don’t mind listening, but it’s my experience that some people take advantage of the capacity to listen by talking about themselves incessantly. When this happens to me, I either mentally check out, or I enact aforementioned exit strategy. 
  14. If given a choice between meeting up with a friend on Monday or Tuesday, I will invariably pick Tuesday because it gives me an extra day to prepare.
  15. I don’t necessarily feel the need to respond to phone calls or text messages immediately. 
  16. I no longer care if other people think I am shy or aloof. I have my opinions about them, too.
  17. There are few moments more enjoyable to me than those spent curled up in front of the fireplace with a book and a cup of tea. It astounds me how few people seem to appreciate moments like this.
  18. There is a kind of inner strength that doesn’t need to announce itself.
  19. When I am in the mood to socialize, I generally find it enjoyable and even energizing. When I am not in the mood to socialize, I will go out of my way to avoid people, even people I like. It’s nothing personal. 
  20. There is one exception to all of these rules: birds. I always want to talk about birds. Even if I don’t feel like talking, I want to talk about birds. Indeed, if you engage me about a topic I am interested in, any sense of shyness or aloofness falls away. I can talk animatedly and for a very long time. 

9 responses to “Confessions of an Introvert”

  1. Lisa or Li Avatar
    Lisa or Li

    You and I may be cosmic clones 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. theusedlife Avatar
      theusedlife

      Hahaha…when I published this post, I thought either everyone will think I’m antisocial or this post will resonate with someone. 😂 I am happy you’re that someone!

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. Lisa or Li Avatar
        Lisa or Li

        Me too, Laura 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Brisa Cósmica Avatar
    Brisa Cósmica

    Thanks for the posts, great content, beautiful pictures!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. theusedlife Avatar
      theusedlife

      Thank you very much!

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  3. Antonia D. Avatar
    Antonia D.

    This post makes me feel seen in so many ways. Thanks for taking the time to publish this!

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. theusedlife Avatar
      theusedlife

      Thank you so much, Antonia! I’m glad it resonates.

      Liked by 1 person

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  4. Janna Smits Avatar
    Janna Smits

    I love this list 🙂 And it allows me a glimpse into who you are, and getting to know you better is always such a joy for me 🙂 It’s funny, so much of this list resonates with me..I am an introvert and so many people fail to see this very obvious aspect of me (I find that many people nowadays are not that interested in getting to know someone, too distracted, too self absorbed…and as you stated, they actually just want to talk about themselves…a very irritating quality). I too, do not care what people think…never really have…and finding ways to engage with people in more meaningful ways has always kept me away from large crowds or gatherings, as I find home in small groups that allow me to get to know someone better and more intimately. I am always very interested in learning from people, hearing about their lives, but I find that large groups make peope into fake, competitive souls that nauseate even the most patient listener. I also do not like being the center of attention. Because of my fashion and welcoming smile, people think otherwise. Honestly, the glam part of me is just that…it’s for me..I love dressing up..i feel beautiful and lovely…but if you want to know the real part of me…the part that lights up my countenance, the part that sees and feels deeply and embraces those she is connected to with long hugs and fully attentive ears, whose heart breaks when I fully see the sadness behind a strangers eyes, wishing I could reach out and touch it, hold it, let them know they are not alone..that person is revealed when you take the time to listen to my heart and laugh at the absurdity of life sometimes, and sit together quietly when words are not necessary…yes, that’s my kind of living…I think we are very similar, my friend 🙂 I’ve always said that the only people that could stop by unannounced to my home and I would be so joyous to see are my two sons 🙂 but I think, my friend, you might be added to that list 🙂

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    1. theusedlife Avatar
      theusedlife

      Aww thank you so much, my friend! 😊 Your comment reminded me of a story: a few months ago, I had company over for dinner. One of my guests was so entirely self-absorbed that he barely spoke to me the whole evening. He dominated the dinner conversation by regaling plans he has for a new business–and asking for plenty of feedback on the subject. But, he never thought to ask, for a moment, how anyone else was doing or what might be happening in anyone else’s lives. He is completely–and nauseatingly–egotistical (and now, I will forever think of him that way). The most peaceful part of the evening, for me, was when I excused myself from the table to do the dishes, and I made that take as long as I possibly could. It’s unfortunate, but I think most people who are that self-absorbed don’t even know it. They’re completely and utterly unself-aware. It’s like when they enter into conversation with someone, they’re so focused on proving how accomplished, intelligent, ambitious, etc., etc. they are that the other person might as well not even be there. And you’re right: large groups seem to breed that kind of fake, competitive, shallow interaction. That older I get, the less tolerance I have for it. It’s a profound waste of time. I also think that kind of oneupmanship is a sign of weakness. The stonger, more confident person doesn’t have to constantly prove themselves or try and command attention. I agree with you about dressing up, too: there’s a difference between wanting to look nice for ourselves and wanting to be the center of attention. I’m with you: slow, quiet intentional interactions, meaningful conversations, and no bs. And I would welcome you happily into my home unnanounced, as well, my friend…though now I come to think of it, you might be the only person on that list! 😂

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