Confessions of a Highly Sensitive Person

  1. Maintaining a sense of inner peace, or internal equilibrium, is of the utmost importance to me. People or circumstances that interfere with my inner peace must be dealt with swiftly and accordingly. I do not allow these things to fester—they cause me too much unrest.
  2. Being sensitive and being a pushover are not the same thing. Indeed, sometimes the opposite is true.
  3. If I become hurt or angry, I can stay that way for much longer than I would like. And I may have a difficult time soothing myself; although, I have gotten better at that over the years.
  4. I have a zero tolerance policy for people who sow intentional chaos.
  5. There are few things I love more than sitting quietly in nature, preferably birdwatching. I could, and often do, spend entire days like that. Just looking, listening, and taking photographs. 
  6. I have no problem going a whole day without speaking.
  7. I don’t have a lot of friends, but those friendships I have are important to me. I am very selective about who I allow to get close to me.
  8. I am adept at reading people, which is probably the reason for #7.
  9. I am easily overstimulated. I hate bright, noisy, chaotic environments. 
  10. I have a thing about artificial light. There are certain stores and restaurants I will not visit if I think the lighting is bad. It actually bothers me so much that it ruins the whole experience. I also tend to frequent businesses that are aesthetic “happy places” for me. Whole Foods, for example, is one of those places, and the biggest reason I like Whole Foods is that the lighting is good.
  11. I am easily unsettled by people who are restless, chaotic, or histrionic, though I rarely show it. 
  12. It’s my observation that most people are chronically overstimulated and don’t even know it.
  13. I have a very hard time lying to myself. I generally know when my motivations are less than pure, when I’m being petty or ego-centered, or when I am rationalizing, idealizing, projecting, etc. This is both a blessing and a curse.
  14. It is remarkable to me how easily desensitized we are to the presence of cruelty in our everyday lives.
  15. I am easily emotionally moved, but I don’t cry much.
  16. I hate conflict.
  17. Persistent loud noise can make me irritable.
  18. Rather than take the time to explain to some people why they’ve hurt, upset, or disrespected me, I find it better to cut them off silently. In this way, I do not pour my time, energy, and emotions into situations that are not worthy of them; nor do I risk disrupting my inner equilibrium.
  19. It never ceases to amaze me how cruel people can be without even knowing it.
  20. I am hyper self-aware. I am also a total hypochondriac.
  21. Nearly everytime I have my blood pressure checked, it is too high–not because I have high blood pressure but because I get really anxious whenever I am being measured or evaluated.
  22. I have a sanctuary (my home office/art studio/reading room). This is the space I retreat to whenever I feel overwhelmed. 
  23. Processing negative emotions can take a great deal of time and energy. I tend to withdraw during periods like this. I call it “going into my cocoon.” 
  24. I am sensitive to beauty, and I put a great deal of effort into making my home aesthetically pleasing and comforting. If I walk into someone else’s home and it seems to me that no effort has been put into these things, I judge.
  25. I think we have a spiritual need for beauty.
  26. I am not good at forcing myself to perform according to other people’s standards and expectations. I have historically failed at this more often than I care to admit. I am much, much happier and more productive when I have the freedom to be inner-directed. That is, when I can move according to my own instincts, set my own schedule, do my own research, develop my own ideas, etc. That doesn’t mean I don’t work well with others or that I wouldn’t benefit from collaboration. It just means I work differently.
  27. I am overly sensitive to the effects of a bad night’s sleep. 
  28. I don’t think the positive aspects of high sensitivity are talked about enough. Sensitivity can be an incredible gift: it’s what makes the everyday feel awe-inspiring and miraculous. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. 

6 responses to “Confessions of a Highly Sensitive Person”

  1. Antonia D. Avatar
    Antonia D.

    I’m also hypersensitive. Last year was my toughest year facing this, but I realized that it’s actually a superpower rather than a setback. A gift, not a curse. Most, if not all, of your confessions resonate a great deal.

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    1. theusedlife Avatar
      theusedlife

      Thank you very much, Antonia. I agree: sensitivity can be challenging to manage at times, but it is a gift, not a curse. I’m glad this post resonates.

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  2. Bob Avatar
    Bob

    A lot of this points resonated with me. As I get older, I have less and less tolerance for drama or chaos. I like to ride my bike to a park and sit under a tree, spending the time looking at nature or reading.

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    1. theusedlife Avatar
      theusedlife

      That sounds really nice. I think the aversion to drama and chaos is part of the wisdom of getting older for me, too.

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  3. Janna Smits Avatar
    Janna Smits

    Thank you for sharing this…I love getting to know you better 🙂 And I especially appreciate your authenticity and penning honest words that reflect who you are…it’s so refreshing in a world where I feel like everyone is so often “performing” and angling for a “position” in the hierarchy…which is probably why, I too, do not have many friends. Reading people well is a gift I also possess..and it can be quite a burden at times. As you stated, people are overstimulated, cruel and clearly absorbed in a world built on dishonest evaluation about who they truly are…this makes it challenging for me to find any interest in socializing or being a part of “out there”…but I do try nonetheless, as I do not want to be someone who withdraws so much that I rob myself of the opportunity and blessing to give the world my care and love as well as receive care and love from others…it’s a delicate balance maintaining peace within and discovering how to engage in a world that can be so chaotic, foolish, cruel, unjust and dishonest…but as with all things, I look inward, at my own soul and the choices I make everyday. And I see the mistakes and the areas I need to improve. And I understand that problems in a world that I live in and am a part of will not be better off if I decide to withhold my presence from it. But as you state beautifully, I will not be subject to other’s “rendition” of me or what they expect me to be. I am comfortable with and proud of who I am…and I see that in you as well 🙂 and being honest about my limits along with embracing moments that stretch me and create growth has been a lifelong pursuit…it’s so nice to see a friend pursuing their own lovely path 🙂 we discover so much about ourselves if we genuinely still ourselves and listen…only then can we gratefully embrace who we are, fan the attributes, work on the flaws and create art, love, friendship, connection and healing of the greatest kind 🙂 Thank you for sharing this post, my friend.

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    1. theusedlife Avatar
      theusedlife

      Thank you so much for the beautiful and thoughtful reply, my friend! Being able to read people is definitely a blessing and a curse. I hate to say this, but over the years, I’ve learned to set the bar pretty low and not expect much from most people…and rarely am I disappointed or pleasantly surprised. That said, I actually do like people, and when I spend too much time alone, I crave social interaction. Like you, I don’t want to feel like I’m out of balance or like I’m missing out on what life has to offer. There is something to be said for being able to “dance in the rain,” as the saying goes. To be keenly aware of how cruel and unjust and dishonest and fake the world is and still be determined to live as fulfilling a as life possible in spite of, or because of, it. I see that same determination in you, my friend. Thank you again! 🙂

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