Regular exercise has been part of my daily, or almost daily, routine for the past 20 years. And while my relationship with fitness has certainly changed over time, it continues to play an important role in my life as a ritual—and one that enhances my wellbeing in innumerable ways. 

When I was in my mid-20s and early 30s, I was something of a gym rat. And I subscribed to the idea that I needed to “go hard” at the gym every day in order to be fit: to lift heavy weights, do high-intensity training, and the like. As I’ve grown older, my mindset has very much shifted—and for the better, I think. 

Indeed, there came a time within the past three years or so at which working to fatigue at the gym several days a week, in addition to running and cycling, started feeling less like I was doing something good for my body and more like a form of self-punishment. So, I stopped.

And on a whim one afternoon a few years ago, I decided to try a form of exercise I had never tried before: Pilates. I had always believed that Pilates was a bit “soft” and likely wouldn’t deliver much in the way of results, but I thought, “Why not give it a try?” So, I searched for Pilates classes on YouTube and clicked on one of the first channels that popped up in the search results. It was called Move With Nicole and had plenty of workouts to choose from, as well as a large number of subscribers. I chose an intermediate-level workout more or less at random (since I had no idea what I was getting myself into), and oh my. Was I humbled.

I was also hooked—and still am. While I still incorporate weight-training (at home) and a good amount of cardio (mostly in the form of walking, hiking, and cycling, as my knees no longer enjoy running) into my routine, Pilates is currently at the center of my fitness regimen. And while I have tried numerous Pilates instructors, Nicole is, hands-down, my favorite. I workout with her almost daily. She has a talent for creating workouts that are strong, challenging, and sweaty, while also being centering and mindful.

It is, of course, the mindful aspect of exercise that makes it a ritual for me. Any form of movement can be a moving meditation, in my opinion. That is, as long as it feels good, energizing, and like what my body and soul need at any given time. For me, the mindful component of exercise tends to get lost when I am pushing myself to do something because it’s what I think I am supposed to do, not because it’s what I enjoy or what I want to do. 

Indeed, Pilates has a unique way of making me feel strong, energetic, and aligned (as well as noticeably more flexible), and that, I think, is what exercise should do. At 43, those are the principles that define my relationship to fitness.